Lisa Overman

My friend Reba Jean, Ying Yang Spirit has an autistic grandson and they are embarking on a healing experiment with Quinn where they are asking for healing prayers and Reiki for Quinn. For more information and to participate in the Help Quinn Talk, check out their website. Reba is a wonderful Reiki healer and I am so touched by this healing endeavor.

Today I googled the word gratitude, looking for inspiring reading and what I found was a beautiful gratitude experiment on a website called GO GRATITUDE The website offers a short video on gratitude and a symbol for energizing gratitude in your life. The website also offers the option for readers to receive a daily gratitude email for 42 days.

If you have been following my posts the last week or so then you already know I’ve been clearing boxes of stuff from my office and guest room closets. It’s an assortment of stuff that got dumped there nearly a year ago when I officially moved. Like anyone, sorting through the things I don’t necessarily need seems like a hassle. The reality is that I spend a lot of time working at home as a writer and I enjoy my space (even closets) so much more when they are organized. I tend to be a very organized writer, I like my space to be upbeat and comfortable.  I hate having piles of papers everywhere; so the idea of closets filled with excess is not attractive to me either. Yet It seemed so overwhelming and time consuming to deal with.

Finally at the encourgement of my friend Myscha I began to seriously think about organizing the closets and giving another few jeep loads to charity. I thought about the job for a day or so, not really overly enthused to begin. Just looking at it all felt overwhelming. After talking to another friend, Doreen and hearing her excitement over her own home’s Feng Shui changes I went home encouraged and set to work. I began as Doreen had with Feng Shui tips and then as I felt my energy and the energy of the rooms I was working on shift I began to feel excited about clearing my space.

Okay, every moment wasn’t exciting or even interesting. Some of it was down right booooriiiing. But, the finished result, a closet which looks neatly organized and guest room walls brimming with some art and color that brings energy and life to the room made a vast difference in my mental attitude and my pleasure at looking around my guest room.

I think most of us can relate to the idea that holidays are filled with moments of deep love, challenge, emotion and a wide variety of expectations. For me it starts with the commercials filled with happy families gathering around to share a meal, opening gifts or sharing their day together. That is the beautiful side of family and committed relationships. The flip side is that most of us have experienced the loss of people that we truly love and treasure and enjoying the holidays without them is never an easy experience. We learn to accept our loss, to move forward, to heal; but somewhere in side, at least for me is a place of sadness that I can no longer share the significance of special days with my parents and with others I’ve lost.

Holidays seem to be filled with a mixture of joy for those we can be with, pleasure for the special moments when we can hold those dear to us and filled with tinges of sadness for what can never be again fwith those we’ve lost. Even with those we love still near to us on the earth plane the holidays can be a roller coaster of emotion. Families squabble, they have different views on life and they certainly have different priorities and wishes. Talk to anyone in my extended family and you will get a variety of versions of what a holiday should be. Some prefer the holiday with their immediate family, others enjoy the extended family. Some prefer a sit down meal, others enjoy a pot luck so based on my own family I can only imagine that there is an abundance of roller coaster experiences out there for many during the holidays. When I turned on the Today Show this morning, they were discussing strategies to use to handle relatives and emotional situations during the holidays.

We all have moments in our life when our only option is to detatch from a situation. I’ve faced several instances where I’ve had to detatch and release an outcome to spirit. It isn’t easy to detatch, actually for me it’s usually hard as hell; but what I’ve found is that when I finally stop analyzing everything and just say to spirit, “okay, it’s yours, I’m done, there is nothing more I can do here.” I feel a sense of relief and an immediate release of all the pressure I was feeling over the situation.

In my most recent experience spirit took control and brought support to the situation. Within a short period the situation was looking very different and all I did was release it. When I need to release myself from an issue, a worry, a financial bind, whatever… I visualize unclipping a seatbelt and seeing whatever it is tumble out of the back of the airplane, done, gone, given to spirit. I repeat the visualization as often as needed, until I receive some kind of sign that the situation has changed, resolved it’s self or shifted. Another visualization I’ve used is unclipping a sailboat from the anchor and heading out to sea with my loved ones in spirit on the boat with me.

There are endless instances in which communication is key. From relationships to jobs to social situations to meeting with Dr’s for tests. In each of these situations how we communicate our needs and our desires is essential. When we need care from our doctor and we don’t clearly express what we are experiencing in our body our doctor may not be able to understand where the problem lies. When we are speaking to a co worker or colleague, expressing our opinions with a respectful attitude and clarity can really enhance our working relationship. Being heard and knowing our opinions are respected, if not agreed with goes a long way to creating a healthy line of communication.

In our personal relationships communication is key in meeting both people’s needs. Men hate it when we whine, at least mine does. So being able to articulate what I need in a way that isn’t grating on his nerves is essential. For me being heard is essential so when he can acknowledge what I’m saying even if he doesn’t agree I feel respected. Every moment is not easy when communicating with another person. We all have our own quirks and shortcomings, by the same token we each have skills that we excell at. So in communicating with a loved one, friend or co worker it helps if we can remember to be respectful, articulate our needs and desires clearly and realize that we all hear things very differently. Acknowledging what has been said or agreed upon is an additional means to clarify what has been stated. Communication is a winding road with bumps and challenges but being a good listener, being willing to accept that sometimes we fail, being able to regroup, listen, and contemplate what we can do to improve our communication style goes a long way to making everyone feel respected, cared for and heard.

I am overwhelmed today by a deep sorrow that I have been in denial of for several months now. My mother’s life is coming to an end. I have such mixed emotions I don’t know what to do with them. I have been crying all day.

I tried to talk to Mom this morning. The past three weeks she has been unresponsive to my questions and conversation. When I ask her a question I hear Missy in the background saying, “You have to say the word Granny. Aunt Sandra can’t see you nod.” Mom will whisper, “Yes.”

Yesterday I talked to Missy and she told me that Mom has to have mittens put on her hands now because she is gouging her thighs until they bleed. She is forming the contractures consistent with end stage Alzheimer’s and Missy is doing some physical therapy exercises on her.

When I remember the vital, independent woman my mother was, it breaks my heart to think of her like this. It hurts so much sometimes I just can’t breathe. Do I want her to continue to just exist? Or would I rather see her go home to her God and be well and whole again? The answer is not simple. I do not want her to suffer any longer and if she could have her say, she would tell us she would rather die.

Doing what you love is a gift. I am blessed with the ability to write and express myself through my words. I am creating a life and career using these gifts. Not everyone has the opportunity to use their gifts or has a job that brings them personal satisfaction. Yes, you could say it’s a choice. If one doesn’t love what they do then they should find another job that offers at least a bit of what they love. That’s an easy statement to make if you aren’t feeding children or paying a mortgage or don’t have stacks of bills coming in every month.

For many people working a job they dislike is a reality. I can remember a close friend of mine going through a stage where he hated his job. He literally felt ill on Sunday night thinking about going to his job on Monday. Fortunately his situation was temporary and he later earned the job he dreamed of when he passed the foreign service exam and began the journey of working in the diplomatic corp in embassies around the globe. Now he and his wife and daughter move from country to country approximately every three years after a six month stint of language school in the United States between posts. It took him approximately seven years of taking the test before he passed. He was determined and he never gave up. He was clear that he would become a diplomat and do the work he felt was his calling. He now travels the world and loves his work.

I too have that focus and determination in my writing career. I spent years writing on weekends, holidays and summer vacations. I was fortunate that in 2002 I had the resources and support to take a year off from my teaching job and focus completely on my writing career. In that year I accomplished a great deal on my book. It gave me a sense of being near to my goal. It brought me to the point of being ready to write my book proposal, which would be submitted to potential publishers and agents. Just at the time I was beginning the search and the proposal process my father took ill unexpectedly and died of Non Hodgkins Lymphomia. He knew he had cancer for only a few days as everything happened incredibly fast.

It is truly amazing how life can shift in ten months. If someone had told me I would be living the life I’m living today a year ago I wouldn’t have believed them. A loving, caring deeply committed relationship has always been a priority to me, yet a year ago I wasn’t even focused on “relationship” I was focused on moving into my new townhouse, downsizing, selling my house, finishing my book and getting my website online.

Yes, I had a list of qualities I’d written down in a journal of what was important in a man and in a relationship. I had long past released my need for a relationship and I was happy doing my own thing. I was living a pretty toned down life in comparison to the complete chaos I’d been living in after my father died. After several years of dealing with an estate, a business and a house along with my grief I was happy to be living what felt like a more normal life. I was writing nearly every day, I was downsizing and I was focused on finding a publisher for my book.

Enter my friends with well meaning intentions about the fact that I should look at dating. I had been alone for over two years with the exception of a man from my past who visited a couple times for a week long vacation. Dating? I understood the concept but couldn’t fathon creating the right situation. I knew few enough people in Tampa/ St Petersburg and the thought of trying to find a date was not all that appealing to me. Yes a relationship was appealing. I loved the thought of sharing my life with a treasured man and of course I missed sex and intimacy. But I wasn’t willing to dive into sex and intimacy just to have a man in my life. Things had to be in the right order.