Aug
21
2009
Today held an epifany moment for me. As I walked through my kitchen, sorting bills and preparing to pay them I paused by the refrigerator, covered in photos. My eye caught the magazine picture I had placed there long ago when I moved in. I’ve been in possesion of the magazine picture for approximately eight years or more. The picture is the scene of a woman writing on a computer on her deck, overlooking the water, a dog close by her side. When I cut that magazine picture out it was with the intention of “creating this life environment for myself”, working at home as a writer with a water view and a dog I loved. As my eye caught that magazine picture this morning, something within me shifted. It was an Ah ha moment.
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Aug
19
2009
The process of grieving and saying goodbye to loved ones is as individual as our very personalities. How we approach closure is not as important as actually having closure. We all need time and our personal beliefs to allow for closure in a loved ones passing. For some of us, myself included a service with a few personal mementos, a video slide show and selected photos is a lovely part of closure. A service allows me to focus my attention and heart on all I treasured about the person in my life and to hear bits of humor, love and memories that other people treasured as well. It allows me time for tears, for laughter and for honoring all the special traits I loved about the person passing.
The memorial is presented as a final goodbye, a final honoring of the soul passing, but the reality is that it’s only the beginning of a long goodbye. There are many stages and emotions in our grieving procress. At first we may be so shell shocked we are simply numb, for others there is anger at the unfairness of the passing, still others may bury their emotion along side the loved one, refusing to deal with the emotional pain they feel, instead remaining stoic.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there is a process and no matter how we deny it, or refuse to face it, the process will go on and we will find ourselves overcome with tears, sadness or anger at odd times when we are under great stress. We may break down when something touches our heart and reminds us of our loved one. I can remember many moments when my grief has overcome me and I’ve cried unexpectedly. A few years ago as I wandered through Hallmark around my mom’s birthday, which is also Mother’s Day I was overcome with emotion as I looked at figurines, which my mom had collected. As I looked around and turned a corner my eyes lit on a fairy/angel figurine and in that moment I felt my mom watching over me. She was showing me through that tiny angel that she is there, watching, caring and loving me. It was a sweet moment of spiritual comfort. That fairy angel figurine now graces my dresser and makes me smile when I look at her.
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Aug
12
2009
Photo Credit: Lisa Overman
We all have moments, weeks and years in our lives when pain, grief and loss overcome us. We move through our losses at the pace our hearts allow. For some healing comes more quickly than for others, there is no right or wrong when a heart is healing. The statement “Time Heals” was on my mom’s nurse tee shirt and I have found that to be true in my own life, with my own losses.
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Aug
08
2009
This week has been a sad one for me. I’ve lost two people I love. Both people were significant in my life and both will be missed deeply, for very different reasons. One was my friend Scott. I had known Scott for twelve years. The other was my minister who I had come to love as a mentor and spiritual guide through some rough personal moments in my life.
I had known Reverend Donna Jean, or Dee Jay as she loved to be called for approximately four years. The depth of my sadness over Reverend Dee Jay resonates within me. I cannot imagine our church without her, and do not want to imagine it without her. I know she will continue to guide our church and our ministers from the other side of the veil and we will feel her love and support, but hearing her words, seeing her smile and knowing she is at the pulpit is what I will miss, what all of us will miss deeply.
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