Lisa Overman

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The process of grieving and saying goodbye to loved ones is as individual as our very personalities. How we approach closure is not as important as actually having closure. We all need time and our personal beliefs to allow for closure in a loved ones passing. For some of us, myself included a service with a few personal mementos, a video slide show and selected photos is a lovely part of closure. A service allows me to focus my attention and heart on all I treasured about the person in my life and to hear bits of humor, love and memories that other people treasured as well. It allows me time for tears, for laughter and for honoring all the special traits I loved about the person passing.

The memorial is presented as a final goodbye, a final honoring of the soul passing, but the reality is that it’s only the beginning of a long goodbye. There are many stages and emotions in our grieving procress. At first we may be so shell shocked we are simply numb, for others there is anger at the unfairness of the passing, still others may bury their emotion along side the loved one, refusing to deal with the emotional pain they feel, instead remaining stoic.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there is a process and no matter how we deny it, or refuse to face it, the process will go on and we will find ourselves overcome with tears, sadness or anger at odd times when we are under great stress. We may break down when something touches our heart and reminds us of our loved one. I can remember many moments when my grief has overcome me and I’ve cried unexpectedly. A few years ago as I wandered through Hallmark around my mom’s birthday, which is also Mother’s Day I was overcome with emotion as I looked at figurines, which my mom had collected. As I looked around and turned a corner my eyes lit on a fairy/angel figurine and in that moment I felt my mom watching over me. She was showing me through that tiny angel that she is there, watching, caring and loving me. It was a sweet moment of spiritual comfort. That fairy angel figurine now graces my dresser and makes me smile when I look at her.

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Sunday brought me an experience which touched me with compassion. As I drove home from church I noticed a man standing at the side of the street with a sign. His sign said LAID OFF, please help. He was dressed in jeans and a tee shirt, and white running shoes. The first thing that struck me was how much like any average person he was. He could have been any friend of mine or any family member, he was approximately fifty. I realized in that moment, as I drove that the face of those in need has changed radically. Our economic recession has brought desperation to middle class families across America. Last week a friend of mine was laid off, and I know several others deeply affected by the economy. I’ve seen family members laid off, homes lost, and others struggling with the loss of their savings in this economic downturn.

There is so much to be said for reaching my forties. I really no longer give a fig about what people think of my life or life choices. I am by far the happiest I have ever been with myself and my life. I have healed and I’m now capable of inspiring others to heal. I’m free of the pain I spent many years feeling and have moved beyond the suffocating grief I lived through.

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Control is a perception and a fallacy for each of us. We have control for as long as a situation is going our way. One day each of us wakes up realizing there are moments far beyond our experiences and far beyond what we can accept, even with our heart and mind open. An open heart allows us to take risks and to explore places we would otherwise feel incapable of exploring. It doesn’t mean we’ll feel safe every minute, but we will feel willing to be there, out of our comfort zone.

When we block our heart and close ourselves off we close off opportunities and experiences. We want to protect ourselves and maintain our comfort zone. In those times we feel safer but our opportunity for new experiences and growth shift down to a lesser degree of growth. Sometimes we shift back and forth, as we feel prepared to step outside ourselves and our comfort zone.

There is no right or wrong, simply a willingness to accept that life can be different and or better than we’ve previously known. We learn with experience that opportunities present themselves and we find new and more complete happiness as we allow our experiences to shift and expand. We may find our life different than we’ve ever known. We may see our experiences as foreign and uncomfortable because it’s not our usual pattern. With time we experience a new fullness and aliveness as our heart and experiences expand and reflect a new, greater comfort zone.

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Security is a perception. We are never completely safe, our situations just seem safe. We bask in the contentment of seeming safety. It’s only when disaster strikes, jobs are lost, finances are compromised or our health is jeapordized that we realize what felt safe was simply a perception. Our real security comes from within, in feeling and trusting the spirit of God in our life. It’s God’s prescence in our life that brings a true sense of feeling secure.

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I recently learned of an organization here in the Tampa Bay area whose goal it is to offer free medically assisted air transport for needy families. According to the information I read, Faith Charity Flights will serve children, adults, the elderly, accident victims, transplant patients and those needing distance medical treatments such as cancer treatments or treatments for rare diseases, who can’t afford commercial air ambulance service to reach their destination for treatment.

Faith Charity Flights is currently working to raise money for their air ambulance and to become certified with the state of Florida. They are seeking volunteers for their air ambulance flights. On their website you’ll find a page for potential volunteers to leave their name and personal information so that Faith Charity Flights can reach those interested in this voluteer opportunity.

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An attitude of daily gratitude shifts the energy of your spirit and your body. It opens a place within you that allows opportunity and abundance to flow through you. Recognizing your joy and gratitude helps to shift your life. Morning prayers upon awakening of thanks and appreciation for your life are a beautiful way to transform your day.

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