Lisa Overman

I’ve always been in the right place at the right time. Of course I steered myself there.

Bob Hope

My Friday quote comes from Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, pg 161.

The beginning of freedom from the pain-body lies first of all in the realization that you have a pain body. Then, more important, in your ability to stay present enough, alert enough, to notice the pain-body in yourself as a heavy influx of negative emotion when it becomes active.

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I lead a spirit driven life. I look at life from a spiritual perspective and I do my best to be uplifting and positive to those around me. Like anyone I have challenging moments, days and experiences. I meditate as often as I can to remain balanced and I walk daily with my dog to keep a peaceful attitude and  relax. I feel that my life is on track that I’m reaching a place where I can step forward and inspire people to reach for their own healing through reading about my experiences and losses.

Twice in the last couple weeks I’ve been touched by the deeply negative intentions of a person I’ve never met, but know through someone close to me. Her actions are off the chart inappropriate and her ugliness has affected many. She’s out of control and clearly in deep pain. I’ve read the ugliness and pain in her messages and heard through others of their own experiences with her negativity. I’m left wondering how we best deal with those whose negativity and deliberate hatefulness touch our lives. I’ve maintained a clear head and  a spiritual heart through this, though it isn’t easy. I have not responded to her tirade though in some moments my ego would love to do so.

I recognize when someone is out of control and I realize in this situation there is nothing to do but step away. My job is simply to detatch from her negative attitudes and intentions and release the situation. It is not my situation to deal with. My job is to keep my own counsel and refrain from making the situation worse than it already is. I can offer caring to those affected and I can pray they’ll be supported. For her I’ve prayed that God helps her to heal and that he shields the rest of us from her further negativity.

This  youtube video is from Shawn Gallaway, my collegue Reba shared it with me. She writes the Yin Yang Spirit blog on this site. Check out this wonderful video about choosing love in our lives.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMOMgQCRAqM

This is the first in a series of Friday quotes. We will add quotes of a spiritual nature. We hope they will offer support on family, life or relationships. It’s my hope that the quotes will touch my readers in some small way. Today’s quote reminds me when I’m hurt by another to consider they may be in pain and their hurt  may have been instrumental in the action that hurt me.

“Hurt People, hurt people.”

The process of grieving and saying goodbye to loved ones is as individual as our very personalities. How we approach closure is not as important as actually having closure. We all need time and our personal beliefs to allow for closure in a loved ones passing. For some of us, myself included a service with a few personal mementos, a video slide show and selected photos is a lovely part of closure. A service allows me to focus my attention and heart on all I treasured about the person in my life and to hear bits of humor, love and memories that other people treasured as well. It allows me time for tears, for laughter and for honoring all the special traits I loved about the person passing.

The memorial is presented as a final goodbye, a final honoring of the soul passing, but the reality is that it’s only the beginning of a long goodbye. There are many stages and emotions in our grieving procress. At first we may be so shell shocked we are simply numb, for others there is anger at the unfairness of the passing, still others may bury their emotion along side the loved one, refusing to deal with the emotional pain they feel, instead remaining stoic.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there is a process and no matter how we deny it, or refuse to face it, the process will go on and we will find ourselves overcome with tears, sadness or anger at odd times when we are under great stress. We may break down when something touches our heart and reminds us of our loved one. I can remember many moments when my grief has overcome me and I’ve cried unexpectedly. A few years ago as I wandered through Hallmark around my mom’s birthday, which is also Mother’s Day I was overcome with emotion as I looked at figurines, which my mom had collected. As I looked around and turned a corner my eyes lit on a fairy/angel figurine and in that moment I felt my mom watching over me. She was showing me through that tiny angel that she is there, watching, caring and loving me. It was a sweet moment of spiritual comfort. That fairy angel figurine now graces my dresser and makes me smile when I look at her.

Photo Credit: Lisa Overman

We all have moments, weeks and years in our lives when pain, grief and loss overcome us. We move through our losses at the pace our hearts allow. For some healing comes more quickly than for others, there is no right or wrong when a heart is healing. The statement “Time Heals” was on my mom’s nurse tee shirt and I have found that to be true in my own life, with my own losses.