Lisa Overman

There are times when our experiences overwhelm us. When what we face and experience feels like more than we can handle.  A couple weeks ago I had a strong feeling to write about the healing that had taken place for me this past year after the end of my love relationship.  When I wrote my previous post  spirit gave me about two good hours to soak up a feeling of having really made progress in my healing and then WHAM, I got slammed with another wave of loss and pain.

I was stunned to learn this man, who I had loved, had married the previous day. He didn’t even have  enough respect for me to tell me himself. Does that surprise me, yes and no. Yes, because I expected  more from a man who professed at one time to love me. I would have expected a basic respect for the relationship we shared. Especially given that it only ended one year ago.

In retrospect there were times  in our relationship when I felt he didn’t know how to respect a woman fully.  When I felt disrespected and told him that. In that realization, I’m sad and angry. It makes me sad to realize he didn’t learn from the mistakes. Respect is not negotiable.  It was his responsibility to tell me himself that he was getting married.

One year ago this month my love relationship ended. I felt like my heart was ripped out and shredded, it happened suddenly, painfully and with virtually no warning. What made it even more painful was that just sixteen days before it ended, the man I loved finally told me he loved me. He said he loved me and couldn’t imagine his life without me. For one amazing week I felt so loved, so treasured. He touched me differently, looked at me more lovingly. 

Life was so beautiful, I felt like I’d been given  such a gift, my heart overflowed with absolute joy, with love. Just looking at him brought me the most intense pleasure and brought my deepest feelings of love to the surface. I felt so blessed, so happy.  Within a week I could feel his fear. I believe it was fear over what I’d expect, now knowing he loved me. I just wanted to bask in his love, to share my heart and soul with him and treasure every single second of our life.

Sixteen days after telling me he loved me, he abruptly ended our relationship. I was devestated, shocked and stunned. We’d been through so much in fourteen months. We’d  faced much together; a tremendous family crisis, health issues, his son’s hospitalizations. There had been much good. There had been many sweet, tender, exquisite moments and some really dark, painful, challenging moments. His fears and concerns had surfaced over and over in the fourteen months,  making him break away for several days at a time, deciding if he wanted to be a part of my life. I’d had more than enough of the indecision. I thought at last with his admission of loving me, we had  moved beyond the fears, beyond the uncertainty. I thought we were on our way to a life together. In no way did I ever imagine he would freak out in fear and end our relationship.

One year ago this month my love relationship ended. I felt like my heart was ripped out and shredded, it happened suddenly, painfully and with virtually no warning. What made it even more painful was that just sixteen days before it ended, the man I loved finally told me he loved me. He said he loved me and couldn’t imagine his life without me. For one amazing week I felt so loved, so treasured. He touched me differently, looked at me more lovingly. 

Life was so beautiful, I felt like I’d been given  such a gift, my heart overflowed with absolute joy, with love. Just looking at him brought me the most intense pleasure and brought my deepest feelings of love to the surface. I felt so blessed, so happy.  Within a week I could feel his fear. I believe it was fear over what I’d expect, now knowing he loved me. I just wanted to bask in his love, to share my heart and soul with him and treasure every single second of our life.

Sixteen days after telling me he loved me, he abruptly ended our relationship. I was devestated, shocked and stunned. We’d been through so much in fourteen months. We’d  faced much together; a tremendous family crisis, health issues, his son’s hospitalizations. There had been much good. There had been many sweet, tender, exquisite moments and some really dark, painful, challenging moments. His fears and concerns had surfaced over and over in the fourteen months,  making him break away for several days at a time, deciding if he wanted to be a part of my life. I’d had more than enough of the indecision. I thought at last with his admission of loving me, we had  moved beyond the fears, beyond the uncertainty. I thought we were on our way to a life together. In no way did I ever imagine he would freak out in fear and end our relationship.

This is a wonderful book that allows people to read more about regression therapy and experience Brian’s knowledge on the subject. The book comes with a Cd so you  have the opportunity to listen to Brian Weiss walk you through relaxation and regression exercises in the quiet of your home.

This weeks quote comes from a book I love by Joan Anderson. She has written several books about her journey of self discovery.

Such is my morning ritual, nothing terribly complicated unless I’ve forgotten to bring logs in from the woodpile the night before. I’m deep into my time-out season of life, where it seems best to be actively passive, involved in little, aware of much. Instinct told me to take myself away and look at all the unwrapped gifts nature has to offer. The natural world is hibernating and so am I.

I’ve always been in the right place at the right time. Of course I steered myself there.

Bob Hope

My Friday quote comes from Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, pg 161.

The beginning of freedom from the pain-body lies first of all in the realization that you have a pain body. Then, more important, in your ability to stay present enough, alert enough, to notice the pain-body in yourself as a heavy influx of negative emotion when it becomes active.

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I lead a spirit driven life. I look at life from a spiritual perspective and I do my best to be uplifting and positive to those around me. Like anyone I have challenging moments, days and experiences. I meditate as often as I can to remain balanced and I walk daily with my dog to keep a peaceful attitude and  relax. I feel that my life is on track that I’m reaching a place where I can step forward and inspire people to reach for their own healing through reading about my experiences and losses.

Twice in the last couple weeks I’ve been touched by the deeply negative intentions of a person I’ve never met, but know through someone close to me. Her actions are off the chart inappropriate and her ugliness has affected many. She’s out of control and clearly in deep pain. I’ve read the ugliness and pain in her messages and heard through others of their own experiences with her negativity. I’m left wondering how we best deal with those whose negativity and deliberate hatefulness touch our lives. I’ve maintained a clear head and  a spiritual heart through this, though it isn’t easy. I have not responded to her tirade though in some moments my ego would love to do so.

I recognize when someone is out of control and I realize in this situation there is nothing to do but step away. My job is simply to detatch from her negative attitudes and intentions and release the situation. It is not my situation to deal with. My job is to keep my own counsel and refrain from making the situation worse than it already is. I can offer caring to those affected and I can pray they’ll be supported. For her I’ve prayed that God helps her to heal and that he shields the rest of us from her further negativity.