Mar
27
2010
One year ago this month my love relationship ended. I felt like my heart was ripped out and shredded, it happened suddenly, painfully and with virtually no warning. What made it even more painful was that just sixteen days before it ended, the man I loved finally told me he loved me. He said he loved me and couldn’t imagine his life without me. For one amazing week I felt so loved, so treasured. He touched me differently, looked at me more lovingly.
Life was so beautiful, I felt like I’d been given such a gift, my heart overflowed with absolute joy, with love. Just looking at him brought me the most intense pleasure and brought my deepest feelings of love to the surface. I felt so blessed, so happy. Within a week I could feel his fear. I believe it was fear over what I’d expect, now knowing he loved me. I just wanted to bask in his love, to share my heart and soul with him and treasure every single second of our life.
Sixteen days after telling me he loved me, he abruptly ended our relationship. I was devestated, shocked and stunned. We’d been through so much in fourteen months. We’d faced much together; a tremendous family crisis, health issues, his son’s hospitalizations. There had been much good. There had been many sweet, tender, exquisite moments and some really dark, painful, challenging moments. His fears and concerns had surfaced over and over in the fourteen months, making him break away for several days at a time, deciding if he wanted to be a part of my life. I’d had more than enough of the indecision. I thought at last with his admission of loving me, we had moved beyond the fears, beyond the uncertainty. I thought we were on our way to a life together. In no way did I ever imagine he would freak out in fear and end our relationship.
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Mar
26
2010
One year ago this month my love relationship ended. I felt like my heart was ripped out and shredded, it happened suddenly, painfully and with virtually no warning. What made it even more painful was that just sixteen days before it ended, the man I loved finally told me he loved me. He said he loved me and couldn’t imagine his life without me. For one amazing week I felt so loved, so treasured. He touched me differently, looked at me more lovingly.
Life was so beautiful, I felt like I’d been given such a gift, my heart overflowed with absolute joy, with love. Just looking at him brought me the most intense pleasure and brought my deepest feelings of love to the surface. I felt so blessed, so happy. Within a week I could feel his fear. I believe it was fear over what I’d expect, now knowing he loved me. I just wanted to bask in his love, to share my heart and soul with him and treasure every single second of our life.
Sixteen days after telling me he loved me, he abruptly ended our relationship. I was devestated, shocked and stunned. We’d been through so much in fourteen months. We’d faced much together; a tremendous family crisis, health issues, his son’s hospitalizations. There had been much good. There had been many sweet, tender, exquisite moments and some really dark, painful, challenging moments. His fears and concerns had surfaced over and over in the fourteen months, making him break away for several days at a time, deciding if he wanted to be a part of my life. I’d had more than enough of the indecision. I thought at last with his admission of loving me, we had moved beyond the fears, beyond the uncertainty. I thought we were on our way to a life together. In no way did I ever imagine he would freak out in fear and end our relationship.
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Mar
03
2010
“If you want to be loved, be loving.”
Dr. Norris Chumley
Feb
28
2010
Hawaii is one of my favorite places on earth and the Big Island of Hawaii holds a special kind of magic for me. With worries the last couple days of Tsunami warnings my thoughts have been on Hawaii’s islands and my friends who live there. So this post is for each of you; may the islands remain safe and the spirit of Aloha surround each of you.
Feb
13
2010
My Friday quote comes from Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, pg 161.
The beginning of freedom from the pain-body lies first of all in the realization that you have a pain body. Then, more important, in your ability to stay present enough, alert enough, to notice the pain-body in yourself as a heavy influx of negative emotion when it becomes active.
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Feb
03
2010
Dad and I before I was three years old.
Jan
31
2010
This post is a reprint
I was rereading some of my old posts, reflecting on how far I’ve come with my websites, writing and efforts to help others heal and I came across this one. There are so many moments in life when we face challenge, pain and doubt. There have been many moments when I felt others judging my life. It was during that time when I wrote this post. It still holds true and I hope it will touch my readers and remind them to take a step back and reflect, rather than make a quick judgment on those in their lives.
A degree of sensitivity is necessary when we make judgements on situations and people in our lives or those we encounter in our day. We never really know the space from which another is coming and despite appearances we need to to take a deep breath and realize life isn’t necessarily the perfect picture it may seem. I think at times people judge situations and circumstances without realizing in any way the depth of the situation or the complexity involved. I’m certain I have done the same thing without realizing it.
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Jan
28
2010
Encourage others. Believe in them. Appreciate them. See God in everyone.
Dr. Norris Chumley
Jan
08
2010
Happiness
is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
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Dec
04
2009
This youtube video is from Shawn Gallaway, my collegue Reba shared it with me. She writes the Yin Yang Spirit blog on this site. Check out this wonderful video about choosing love in our lives.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMOMgQCRAqM
