I learned of Carol Look and others through Jennifer McLean’s website Master Works Healing where visitors can listen to a series of audio shows for free and then choose to join to have full access to many other audio’s and speakers. It is a wonderful site and I recommend it.

Carol takes listeners through a series of simple statements and exercises that allow listeners to release blocks and begin a shift in their energy patterns. Within a few minutes of listening I was feeling very different, much more peaceful and much more upbeat than just a short time before. I have already listened to her audio twice in the last 24 hours. It is a FREE download which you can enjoy and benefit from.

The next 4 ½ hours were miserable. It rained the entire trip but the roads were good and there was little traffic. Shortly after 6 pm we pulled into the Airport Motel in Blountstown, FL. The motel was isolated and there were only 2 other cars in the parking lot. The owner was nice, the room was very small but immaculately clean. The rain continued and due to fear of the unknown we got very little sleep. I had pushed a chair over in front of the door.

The temperature outside was 43 degrees. When the alarm went off at 530 am we were both already awake. We were on the road again in 30 minutes. The trusty GPS took us directly down SR71 to Stone Mill Creek Road and Gulf Correctional Institution Annex. Visitors were allowed in from 8 am to 2 pm. There were 2 other women in line outside the prison. We stood in 38 degree weather waiting for the guards to come out and process us through.

At 745 the guards came out and set up a table to sign in. They called 4 visitors at a time. Since it was Carrie and my first visit we had paperwork to fill out. Then the guard gave our driver’s license to the people on the other side of the window to check us out. When that was done we were given a little yellow card with a PIN number on it and told to write our inmate’s name and number on the back and get the card laminated. We had our photos taken, hands scanned three times and then we were patted down. All we were allowed to carry in was a see through envelope with our driver’s license, up to $50 and one car key. I was allowed to take my inhalor in. We were led through four different doors that had to buzzed open and clanged shut behind. Then into a large room with long tables with signs telling where we could sit and where the inmates had to sit. More buzzing and clanging.

We chose a table by the window where I dumped my wrap, hat and see through purse. I walked over to the window to look and saw barb wire surrounding the place and several building that were later identified as the dorms. There was a raised platform at the front of the room where the inmates came in after being strip searched. On the platform were 4 prison guards. Next to them was a table with puzzles and decks of cards.

Two prisoners came into the room. My son was one of them. He signed in, turned and spotted Carrie at the table. As he walked toward her I watched his face crumbled into pain and then tears. He embraced her with one of his wonderful warm hugs. They clung to each other crying. He tried to control his tears but they kept coming as he walked over and gave me a huge hug. It was difficult to let go of him but I knew that it was Carrie he needed and not me. He turned back to her with another hug and then we sat down at the table. Carrie had bought him a cup of coffee and a honey bun from the canteen window in the room. He was delighted with the honey bun and quickly devoured it. He said he hadn’t had one since Monday. Apparently they are a valuable commodity and usually sell out the day they come in.

As time passed I understood why we wanted to get there early. Due to the length of time to process each visitor, some of the people behind us outside didn’t get in until 930-10 am. That takes away from the visiting time. After some catching up we got a puzzle and put it together in less than 2 hours. About every hour or so the guards would unlock the door to the yard outside the room and at least half of the room cleared out to take a smoke break. It was too cold for us so we continued to talk at the table. We kept feeding Tim food from the canteen. Actually it wasn’t bad, all pre-packaged but tasty. There were two microwave ovens in the room, a water fountain and restrooms. The restrooms were locked. Every time we had to go, a guard unlocked the door and one person at a time was allowed to go. We learned to watch and when one person went in, others lined up outside the door and just catch it as each came out.

If the inmates had to go they had to go back to their dorm, which involved a strip search coming and going. Tim held it the whole 6 hours. Around 11 am they called for a head count and the guys had to line up along the wall to be counted.

I sat in the corner and watched my son and the other inmates. Some of them looked like they were teenagers. Others were older. Three of them had prison tattoos all over their exposed skin; arms, neck, some even on their face. I wondered why they would want all that crappy stuff permanently embossed on their bodies. More white guys than black had visitors.

The day went well and no incidents occurred. There were lots of children, more than I expected, and it was touching to see these big tough men carrying around tiny babies and toddlers. I was surprised to see that most of the men did not look as though they belonged in prison. 

Too quickly it was 155 pm and the guards told the men to say their goodbyes and line up to sign out. Again I got a Tim hug and Carrie got a prolonged embrace and a kiss. We lined up on one side of the room and the inmates on the other side. They were taken out 3 at a time to be stripped searched again and returned to their respective dorms. As each inmate left the room, his visitors were led out the opposite door. We were held in a small hallway until the previous group left then our photos were matched to another hand scan and we walked out the doors amid buzzers and clangs.

The trip home took 5 hours to Springhill. I transferred my bag back to my car. I was alone again and didn’t know what to feel. Quiet tears rolled down my cheek as I drove. I was relieved to see that Tim was healthy and had not lost his sense of humor. I was devastated to see how the guards dehumanized the men. It felt wonderful to be hugged again by my son. I hated having him separated from his family. I kept hearing the buzzers and clangs. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he saw Carrie. I replayed the visit over and over in my mind.

I arrived home at 930 pm and called Sandy. I needed to have Mystic back with me. She understands my moods and is very protective of me. When Sandy walked in the door with my dog I finally lost control and sobbed in Sandy’s arms for about a half hour.

Will I go visit him again? Absolutely. Will it tear me apart to see him behind bars? No doubt. Will I live long enough to see him back home with his family? 9 years is a long time.

 I find the scenery, the positions and the breathing to be calming, mindful and useful for my body and spirit. I have been doing the yoga only two weeks and already it is something I look forward to. I find myself noticing that I can understand the poses better with time and that my body is feeling more and more relaxed doing the poses. I also love that I feel calmer and more centered as I complete a thirty minute session. For additional information or short segments of the Namaste Yoga go to Fit TV  on the web.

kinsiekins photo flickr

Today I had the opportunity to see “Love Happens.” It was a powerful movie that touched me as a writer. It was filled with moments of real life; of the realization that there are many people in pain and in need of healing. It was a reminder that even those who heal lives, sometimes need healed themselves.

We are all on this earth to share our love, to share our lives with others. We each touch lives and hearts with our actions our words and our presence. Sometimes we do all we can to share ourselves and our love with those we treasure. At times our love and compassion  just can’t reach the hurt within their soul. It’s then we have to step back, release them to God and know that God will guide their life and their healing. We sometimes see ourselves and others make questionable choices. We want to help, but sometimes their choices take them out of our reach and it’s then especially that we must trust in God to guide them, to help them and support them in their healing.

 It may well be that God will find a way to bring them into our lives again. Circumstances change, opportunities appear and sometimes we can touch their life in some small way to encourage  healing. We each have our own journeys and sometimes those journeys intersect and we touch hearts and lives in many ways big and small. It’s a gift to love another and a gift to feel our hearts touch another and make a sweet contribution to their life. God works in many ways and sometimes we are touched by unexpected opportunities to share our love. We can only step forward and allow God to guide our life and hope that those we love will feel our support.

I had known Reverend Donna Jean, or Dee Jay as she loved to be called for approximately four years. The depth of my sadness over Reverend Dee Jay resonates within me. I cannot imagine our church without her, and do not want to imagine it without her. I know she will continue to guide our church and our ministers from the other side of the veil and we will feel her love and support, but hearing her words, seeing her smile and knowing she is at the pulpit is what I will miss, what all of us will miss deeply.

Reverend Donna Jean was one of the most genuine, loving, people I have ever met. She was a spiritual support for all of us and guided us with her insight, wit and wisdom. The realization that she is gone from her physical body is so deeply sad. I know she had been very ill and that her cancer had been a struggle. I remember well each of my own parents struggle with cancer. Their pain, their discomfort and the toll it took on them. I know she is better off in spirit but I will miss her deeply. I feel so sad today, so sad for Harmony. I hear her voice in my head, ‘don’t be sad, I am here in spirit and everyone at Harmony has already stepped into their necessary rolls this last year and a half while I was ill.’ Harmony will flourish and we will know she is there in spirit, supporting, guiding and encouraging us with that sense of humor and wit we loved. I love you Reverend DJ and I will miss you deeply.

This book like other books Peter Walsch has written moves me and inspires me. A couple of days ago as I prayed for insight and inspiration the book opened to this particular passage and I was touched by the love I found there.

Become an Instrument of My Peace

Where there is hatred, sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
Seek not so much to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.

For love is Who You Are, and who you have always been. It is all there ever was, is now, and ever shall be.

When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person realize his dream,” said the alchemist, echoing the words of the old king. The boy understood. Another person was there to help him toward his Personal Legend.

I find this quote so beautifully inspiring. I believe when we work hard, put forth great effort and are focused on our personal goal, the universe finds ways to help us, to inspire us and to open doors.

Earth Hour By: Kawood Flickr

From an Antarctic research base to the Great Pyramids of Egypt and beyond, the world switched off the lights on Saturday for Earth Hour, dimming skyscrapers, city streets and some of the world’s most recognizable monuments for 60 minutes to highlight the threat of climate change.

For more information and insight on Earth Hour here is a yahoo news article on Earth Hour.