|recent posts|
The Irony of Healing
There are times when our experiences overwhelm us. When what we face and experience feels like more than we can handle. A couple weeks ago I had a strong feeling to write about the healing that had taken place for me this past year after the end of my love relationship. When I wrote my previous post spirit gave me about two good hours to soak up a feeling of having really made progress in my healing and then WHAM, I got slammed with another wave of loss and pain.
I was stunned to learn this man, who I had loved, had married the previous day. He didn’t even have enough respect for me to tell me himself. Does that surprise me, yes and no. Yes, because I expected more from a man who professed at one time to love me. I would have expected a basic respect for the relationship we shared. Especially given that it only ended one year ago.
In retrospect there were times in our relationship when I felt he didn’t know how to respect a woman fully. When I felt disrespected and told him that. In that realization, I’m sad and angry. It makes me sad to realize he didn’t learn from the mistakes. Respect is not negotiable. It was his responsibility to tell me himself that he was getting married.
Read more »Weekly Inspiration
“If they knew better, they’d do better.”This quote comes from Reverend Shelia Blanco Pedrosa’s sermon at Harmony Church
A Ship in the Harbor
“A ship in the harbor is safe, but after a while the bottom rots out.”
Anonymous
“That can happen if we stay too long in our safe zone. I begin to “rot.” Oh, just little indicators. A pound here or there goes on. A negative way of thinking begins to take root in my brain. Getting the ship out of the harbor is HARD WORK!! (Just go to any major pier.) But the pay off is fantastic.”
Susan Lewis Lally
Healing With Time
One year ago this month my love relationship ended. I felt like my heart was ripped out and shredded, it happened suddenly, painfully and with virtually no warning. What made it even more painful was that just sixteen days before it ended, the man I loved finally told me he loved me. He said he loved me and couldn’t imagine his life without me. For one amazing week I felt so loved, so treasured. He touched me differently, looked at me more lovingly.
Life was so beautiful, I felt like I’d been given such a gift, my heart overflowed with absolute joy, with love. Just looking at him brought me the most intense pleasure and brought my deepest feelings of love to the surface. I felt so blessed, so happy. Within a week I could feel his fear. I believe it was fear over what I’d expect, now knowing he loved me. I just wanted to bask in his love, to share my heart and soul with him and treasure every single second of our life.
Sixteen days after telling me he loved me, he abruptly ended our relationship. I was devestated, shocked and stunned. We’d been through so much in fourteen months. We’d faced much together; a tremendous family crisis, health issues, his son’s hospitalizations. There had been much good. There had been many sweet, tender, exquisite moments and some really dark, painful, challenging moments. His fears and concerns had surfaced over and over in the fourteen months, making him break away for several days at a time, deciding if he wanted to be a part of my life. I’d had more than enough of the indecision. I thought at last with his admission of loving me, we had moved beyond the fears, beyond the uncertainty. I thought we were on our way to a life together. In no way did I ever imagine he would freak out in fear and end our relationship.
Read more »Healing With Time
One year ago this month my love relationship ended. I felt like my heart was ripped out and shredded, it happened suddenly, painfully and with virtually no warning. What made it even more painful was that just sixteen days before it ended, the man I loved finally told me he loved me. He said he loved me and couldn’t imagine his life without me. For one amazing week I felt so loved, so treasured. He touched me differently, looked at me more lovingly.
Life was so beautiful, I felt like I’d been given such a gift, my heart overflowed with absolute joy, with love. Just looking at him brought me the most intense pleasure and brought my deepest feelings of love to the surface. I felt so blessed, so happy. Within a week I could feel his fear. I believe it was fear over what I’d expect, now knowing he loved me. I just wanted to bask in his love, to share my heart and soul with him and treasure every single second of our life.
Sixteen days after telling me he loved me, he abruptly ended our relationship. I was devestated, shocked and stunned. We’d been through so much in fourteen months. We’d faced much together; a tremendous family crisis, health issues, his son’s hospitalizations. There had been much good. There had been many sweet, tender, exquisite moments and some really dark, painful, challenging moments. His fears and concerns had surfaced over and over in the fourteen months, making him break away for several days at a time, deciding if he wanted to be a part of my life. I’d had more than enough of the indecision. I thought at last with his admission of loving me, we had moved beyond the fears, beyond the uncertainty. I thought we were on our way to a life together. In no way did I ever imagine he would freak out in fear and end our relationship.
Read more »|caring for your spirit|
The Irony of Healing
There are times when our experiences overwhelm us. When what we face and experience feels like more than we can handle. A couple weeks ago I had a strong feeling to write about the healing that had taken place for me this past year after the end of my love relationship. When I wrote my previous post spirit gave me about two good hours to soak up a feeling of having really made progress in my healing and then WHAM, I got slammed with another wave of loss and pain.
I was stunned to learn this man, who I had loved, had married the previous day. He didn’t even have enough respect for me to tell me himself. Does that surprise me, yes and no. Yes, because I expected more from a man who professed at one time to love me. I would have expected a basic respect for the relationship we shared. Especially given that it only ended one year ago.
In retrospect there were times in our relationship when I felt he didn’t know how to respect a woman fully. When I felt disrespected and told him that. In that realization, I’m sad and angry. It makes me sad to realize he didn’t learn from the mistakes. Respect is not negotiable. It was his responsibility to tell me himself that he was getting married.
Read more »Healing With Time
One year ago this month my love relationship ended. I felt like my heart was ripped out and shredded, it happened suddenly, painfully and with virtually no warning. What made it even more painful was that just sixteen days before it ended, the man I loved finally told me he loved me. He said he loved me and couldn’t imagine his life without me. For one amazing week I felt so loved, so treasured. He touched me differently, looked at me more lovingly.
Life was so beautiful, I felt like I’d been given such a gift, my heart overflowed with absolute joy, with love. Just looking at him brought me the most intense pleasure and brought my deepest feelings of love to the surface. I felt so blessed, so happy. Within a week I could feel his fear. I believe it was fear over what I’d expect, now knowing he loved me. I just wanted to bask in his love, to share my heart and soul with him and treasure every single second of our life.
Sixteen days after telling me he loved me, he abruptly ended our relationship. I was devestated, shocked and stunned. We’d been through so much in fourteen months. We’d faced much together; a tremendous family crisis, health issues, his son’s hospitalizations. There had been much good. There had been many sweet, tender, exquisite moments and some really dark, painful, challenging moments. His fears and concerns had surfaced over and over in the fourteen months, making him break away for several days at a time, deciding if he wanted to be a part of my life. I’d had more than enough of the indecision. I thought at last with his admission of loving me, we had moved beyond the fears, beyond the uncertainty. I thought we were on our way to a life together. In no way did I ever imagine he would freak out in fear and end our relationship.
Read more »Healing With Time
One year ago this month my love relationship ended. I felt like my heart was ripped out and shredded, it happened suddenly, painfully and with virtually no warning. What made it even more painful was that just sixteen days before it ended, the man I loved finally told me he loved me. He said he loved me and couldn’t imagine his life without me. For one amazing week I felt so loved, so treasured. He touched me differently, looked at me more lovingly.
Life was so beautiful, I felt like I’d been given such a gift, my heart overflowed with absolute joy, with love. Just looking at him brought me the most intense pleasure and brought my deepest feelings of love to the surface. I felt so blessed, so happy. Within a week I could feel his fear. I believe it was fear over what I’d expect, now knowing he loved me. I just wanted to bask in his love, to share my heart and soul with him and treasure every single second of our life.
Sixteen days after telling me he loved me, he abruptly ended our relationship. I was devestated, shocked and stunned. We’d been through so much in fourteen months. We’d faced much together; a tremendous family crisis, health issues, his son’s hospitalizations. There had been much good. There had been many sweet, tender, exquisite moments and some really dark, painful, challenging moments. His fears and concerns had surfaced over and over in the fourteen months, making him break away for several days at a time, deciding if he wanted to be a part of my life. I’d had more than enough of the indecision. I thought at last with his admission of loving me, we had moved beyond the fears, beyond the uncertainty. I thought we were on our way to a life together. In no way did I ever imagine he would freak out in fear and end our relationship.
Read more »Mirrors of Time By: Brian Weiss
This is a wonderful book that allows people to read more about regression therapy and experience Brian’s knowledge on the subject. The book comes with a Cd so you have the opportunity to listen to Brian Weiss walk you through relaxation and regression exercises in the quiet of your home.
|caring for yourself|
There are times when our experiences overwhelm us. When what we face and experience feels like more than we can handle. A couple weeks ago I had a strong feeling to write about the healing that had taken place for me this past year after the end of my love relationship. When I wrote my previous post spirit gave me about two good hours to soak up a feeling of having really made progress in my healing and then WHAM, I got slammed with another wave of loss and pain.
I was stunned to learn this man, who I had loved, had married the previous day. He didn’t even have enough respect for me to tell me himself. Does that surprise me, yes and no. Yes, because I expected more from a man who professed at one time to love me. I would have expected a basic respect for the relationship we shared. Especially given that it only ended one year ago.
In retrospect there were times in our relationship when I felt he didn’t know how to respect a woman fully. When I felt disrespected and told him that. In that realization, I’m sad and angry. It makes me sad to realize he didn’t learn from the mistakes. Respect is not negotiable. It was his responsibility to tell me himself that he was getting married.
Read more »One year ago this month my love relationship ended. I felt like my heart was ripped out and shredded, it happened suddenly, painfully and with virtually no warning. What made it even more painful was that just sixteen days before it ended, the man I loved finally told me he loved me. He said he loved me and couldn’t imagine his life without me. For one amazing week I felt so loved, so treasured. He touched me differently, looked at me more lovingly.
Life was so beautiful, I felt like I’d been given such a gift, my heart overflowed with absolute joy, with love. Just looking at him brought me the most intense pleasure and brought my deepest feelings of love to the surface. I felt so blessed, so happy. Within a week I could feel his fear. I believe it was fear over what I’d expect, now knowing he loved me. I just wanted to bask in his love, to share my heart and soul with him and treasure every single second of our life.
Sixteen days after telling me he loved me, he abruptly ended our relationship. I was devestated, shocked and stunned. We’d been through so much in fourteen months. We’d faced much together; a tremendous family crisis, health issues, his son’s hospitalizations. There had been much good. There had been many sweet, tender, exquisite moments and some really dark, painful, challenging moments. His fears and concerns had surfaced over and over in the fourteen months, making him break away for several days at a time, deciding if he wanted to be a part of my life. I’d had more than enough of the indecision. I thought at last with his admission of loving me, we had moved beyond the fears, beyond the uncertainty. I thought we were on our way to a life together. In no way did I ever imagine he would freak out in fear and end our relationship.
Read more »One year ago this month my love relationship ended. I felt like my heart was ripped out and shredded, it happened suddenly, painfully and with virtually no warning. What made it even more painful was that just sixteen days before it ended, the man I loved finally told me he loved me. He said he loved me and couldn’t imagine his life without me. For one amazing week I felt so loved, so treasured. He touched me differently, looked at me more lovingly.
Life was so beautiful, I felt like I’d been given such a gift, my heart overflowed with absolute joy, with love. Just looking at him brought me the most intense pleasure and brought my deepest feelings of love to the surface. I felt so blessed, so happy. Within a week I could feel his fear. I believe it was fear over what I’d expect, now knowing he loved me. I just wanted to bask in his love, to share my heart and soul with him and treasure every single second of our life.
Sixteen days after telling me he loved me, he abruptly ended our relationship. I was devestated, shocked and stunned. We’d been through so much in fourteen months. We’d faced much together; a tremendous family crisis, health issues, his son’s hospitalizations. There had been much good. There had been many sweet, tender, exquisite moments and some really dark, painful, challenging moments. His fears and concerns had surfaced over and over in the fourteen months, making him break away for several days at a time, deciding if he wanted to be a part of my life. I’d had more than enough of the indecision. I thought at last with his admission of loving me, we had moved beyond the fears, beyond the uncertainty. I thought we were on our way to a life together. In no way did I ever imagine he would freak out in fear and end our relationship.
Read more »
This weeks quote comes from a book I love by Joan Anderson. She has written several books about her journey of self discovery.
Such is my morning ritual, nothing terribly complicated unless I’ve forgotten to bring logs in from the woodpile the night before. I’m deep into my time-out season of life, where it seems best to be actively passive, involved in little, aware of much. Instinct told me to take myself away and look at all the unwrapped gifts nature has to offer. The natural world is hibernating and so am I.
Read more »|healing|
The Irony of Healing
There are times when our experiences overwhelm us. When what we face and experience feels like more than we can handle. A couple weeks ago I had a strong feeling to write about the healing that had taken place for me this past year after the end of my love relationship. When I wrote my previous post spirit gave me about two good hours to soak up a feeling of having really made progress in my healing and then WHAM, I got slammed with another wave of loss and pain.
I was stunned to learn this man, who I had loved, had married the previous day. He didn’t even have enough respect for me to tell me himself. Does that surprise me, yes and no. Yes, because I expected more from a man who professed at one time to love me. I would have expected a basic respect for the relationship we shared. Especially given that it only ended one year ago.
In retrospect there were times in our relationship when I felt he didn’t know how to respect a woman fully. When I felt disrespected and told him that. In that realization, I’m sad and angry. It makes me sad to realize he didn’t learn from the mistakes. Respect is not negotiable. It was his responsibility to tell me himself that he was getting married.
Read more »Mirrors of Time By: Brian Weiss
This is a wonderful book that allows people to read more about regression therapy and experience Brian’s knowledge on the subject. The book comes with a Cd so you have the opportunity to listen to Brian Weiss walk you through relaxation and regression exercises in the quiet of your home.
Friday Quote: A Year by the Sea
This weeks quote comes from a book I love by Joan Anderson. She has written several books about her journey of self discovery.
Such is my morning ritual, nothing terribly complicated unless I’ve forgotten to bring logs in from the woodpile the night before. I’m deep into my time-out season of life, where it seems best to be actively passive, involved in little, aware of much. Instinct told me to take myself away and look at all the unwrapped gifts nature has to offer. The natural world is hibernating and so am I.
Read more »How Do We Move Beyond Pain That Feels Greater Than We Can Bear?
Dad and I before I was three years old.
|relationship|
An Open Heart and Open Mind
Control is a perception and a fallacy for each of us. We have control for as long as a situation is going our way. One day each of us wakes up realizing there are moments far beyond our experiences and far beyond what we can accept, even with our heart and mind open. An open heart allows us to take risks and to explore places we would otherwise feel incapable of exploring. It doesn’t mean we’ll feel safe every minute, but we will feel willing to be there, out of our comfort zone.
When we block our heart and close ourselves off we close off opportunities and experiences. We want to protect ourselves and maintain our comfort zone. In those times we feel safer but our opportunity for new experiences and growth shift down to a lesser degree of growth. Sometimes we shift back and forth, as we feel prepared to step outside ourselves and our comfort zone.
There is no right or wrong, simply a willingness to accept that life can be different and or better than we’ve previously known. We learn with experience that opportunities present themselves and we find new and more complete happiness as we allow our experiences to shift and expand. We may find our life different than we’ve ever known. We may see our experiences as foreign and uncomfortable because it’s not our usual pattern. With time we experience a new fullness and aliveness as our heart and experiences expand and reflect a new, greater comfort zone.
Read more »Living in Gratitude
It is truly amazing how life can shift in ten months. If someone had told me I would be living the life I’m living today a year ago I wouldn’t have believed them. A loving, caring deeply committed relationship has always been a priority to me, yet a year ago I wasn’t even focused on “relationship” I was focused on moving into my new townhouse, downsizing, selling my house, finishing my book and getting my website online.
Yes, I had a list of qualities I’d written down in a journal of what was important in a man and in a relationship. I had long past released my need for a relationship and I was happy doing my own thing. I was living a pretty toned down life in comparison to the complete chaos I’d been living in after my father died. After several years of dealing with an estate, a business and a house along with my grief I was happy to be living what felt like a more normal life. I was writing nearly every day, I was downsizing and I was focused on finding a publisher for my book.
Enter my friends with well meaning intentions about the fact that I should look at dating. I had been alone for over two years with the exception of a man from my past who visited a couple times for a week long vacation. Dating? I understood the concept but couldn’t fathon creating the right situation. I knew few enough people in Tampa/ St Petersburg and the thought of trying to find a date was not all that appealing to me. Yes a relationship was appealing. I loved the thought of sharing my life with a treasured man and of course I missed sex and intimacy. But I wasn’t willing to dive into sex and intimacy just to have a man in my life. Things had to be in the right order.
Read more »|writing on life|
Friday Quote: A Year by the Sea
This weeks quote comes from a book I love by Joan Anderson. She has written several books about her journey of self discovery.
Such is my morning ritual, nothing terribly complicated unless I’ve forgotten to bring logs in from the woodpile the night before. I’m deep into my time-out season of life, where it seems best to be actively passive, involved in little, aware of much. Instinct told me to take myself away and look at all the unwrapped gifts nature has to offer. The natural world is hibernating and so am I.
Read more »Breaking Free
My Friday quote comes from Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, pg 161.
The beginning of freedom from the pain-body lies first of all in the realization that you have a pain body. Then, more important, in your ability to stay present enough, alert enough, to notice the pain-body in yourself as a heavy influx of negative emotion when it becomes active.
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The Law of Dharma
Renaissance Island
A Travel Dream Becomes Reality
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Flamingo Beach
